Watching a candle burn

One of the Jewish traditions is that you burn a candle for the dead for seven days. So last Monday, actually a day after my mom died, the funeral home asked me if I wanted one - and since I've been picking and choosing between the traditions that feel right to me, I said "sure." Lit it that evening. And... it kept burning. I found it very comforting and when it hadn't burned out by Monday, I kept hoping it would burn through to the memorial.It did. Yesterday, in fact, it was clearly quite quite low but still burning. I was in a very calm, peaceful mood still, after the memorial - all that cello - and spent a lot of time yesterday just watching it. It's just such a beautiful metaphor - the candle was so low there was no way I would have been able to re-light it if it went out. i couldn't see what it was burning on at all, except the end of the wick. But it was still a light, definitely a light. And I knew that at some point it would go out - and that would be that. The light would be gone and even though it had burned so so low, there was a profound difference between a flame and no flame.

The candle burned out a little before 6 last night. I found this a very peaceful vigil.